


$150

by taeminki



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 11:31:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15118490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: Hongseok did his best, and Hyunggu patiently waited for his best to be enough.





	$150

"Hyung, can I go to a party?"

"I don't care."

 _He might care now, though_.

Hyunggu felt a little bit of pressure, making out with-- he who was considered-- the hottest guy in school. Adachi Yuto had attached himself to Hyunggu not three minutes after Hyunggu had walked through Jo Jinho's front door. They had been flirting for almost an hour -- then Yuto took that step, and backed Hyunggu against the kitchen. Yuto had much more experience than Hyunggu-- Hyunggu _knew_  Yuto had _much_  more experience than him. Hyunggu was a little intimidated, and a little awkward, and a little unsure of himself. His hands were probably gripping Yuto's arms too hard, and he was probably pressing himself against the wall too hard. He wasn't uncomfortable, he was just--nervous.

"Let's take this somewhere else," Yuto told him-- and the way he whispered sent a chill up Hyunggu's spine. Yuto took his hand; and he was so gentle, his fingers falling between Hyunggu's gently. He led Hyunggu through the crowd-- upstairs, and Hyunggu's face burned as a few of Yuto's friends whistled at the two of them. Hyunggu hurried, and stuck close to Yuto, and Yuto told him, quietly, not to mind them. (How could Hyunggu not, though? Their little whistles had made him realize just where he was, and just what he was doing. He was three cups of beer into the night, and he was about to have sex with _Adachi Yuto_. He wasn't like this; but he was _excited_ , for this.)

Yuto found a room in no time. He pulled Hyunggu in, and gently shut the door. He led Hyunggu to the bed, and gently sat him down; then, he pulled him by his hips, and tilted him until he was on his back. Hyunggu let himself pull Yuto in-- arms around his shoulders, lips parted for Yuto to kiss him. Yuto was quick-- quick to unbutton Hyunggu's pants, and pull them down to his thighs. He was quick to get his shirt off, and get Hyunggu's off, too. His hands were warm against Hyunggu's stomach, and gentle as they traced his spine.

Yuto didn't speak -- which, Hyunggu wasn't sure _what_  he was expecting, but it wasn't silence. He didn't mind, because a lot of Yuto's actions spoke for him-- like the kiss to Hyunggu's shoulder for no reason, and his fingers gripping Hyunggu's hand as he pressed into him. Hyunggu held his breath, and bit his tongue. He had tears pricking the corner of his eyes, and for a moment he wondered why people did this -- why this was _fun_. As the seconds ticked, though, and as Yuto comforted his tense body with kisses, Hyunggu began to understand. As Yuto worked into him for the second time, and the third-- as his body heated, and Yuto ignited him with touches, he began to understand. It was fun. It was pleasurable. It was sweet and it was everything else -- and Hyunggu tilted his head back as Yuto sucked at his neck, and Yuto angled, and Hyunggu's tears fell for pleasure, this time.

By the end, Hyunggu was blissful. He'd read about and he'd heard about people being so tired after having sex, but Hyunggu didn't think he'd felt more _awake_  for a while, now. Yuto didn't seem tired, either. He left for a moment-- still naked, and still beautiful. He came back with some tissue from the bathroom, and helped Hyunggu wipe down his stomach. He let Hyunggu kiss him, and giggle into his mouth; but Hyunggu wasn't ignorant, and could recognize the distance he put between him and Hyunggu -- emotionally. It was the same distance Hongseok put between the two of them; except _that_  distance cut deeper, and Hyunggu didn't want to think about it.

"I'll take you back to your friends," Yuto said as he was gathering up their clothes, and handing Hyunggu his. Hyunggu got dressed, trying not to feel too awkward, or too put-off. Yuto dressed quicker than him, and helped him button his pants, and sort out his hair. Hyunggu felt it was awkwardly intimate, but he liked the feeling of affection. He liked that Yuto still took his hand -- both, when the crowds got too much and Yuto's friends got too close. Yuto pulled Hyunggu to him at a clearer point in the hallway, and asked, "Where are your friends?" and Hyunggu stuttered, "D-downstairs;" and that's where Yuto took him.

"Hyunggu!" he was called near the dance floor, and Hyojong was moving over to him. Yuto disappeared, and Hyojong looked after him. He looked at Hyunggu, at Yuto, and his mouth fell open, "Did you _fuck_ \--"

"Hyung!" Hyunggu waved his hands through the air, pressing a panicked finger to his mouth. Hyojong had drawn attention-- always did, in some way. Hyojong laughed, and he was drunk; and he said sorry, but he couldn't keep his voice down, "I'm sorry, but you look like a mess and _Adachi Yuto_  just brought you to me."

"Yes, I know that." Hyunggu muttered softly. He licked his lips, and he felt that heat again. He felt a spark of danger, like he'd done something he shouldn't have; and he liked it. He loved it. He only regretted not pulling Yuto into him as much as Yuto had pulled _him_  in. (Really, though, what was he expecting? He couldn't even get his own brother to love him.)

"You okay?"

"What? Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Uh--" Hyunggu was holding himself, he realized. His arms were around his stomach, and he breathed through his nose for a moment. He asked, "Where, uh -- where's Hwitaek-hyung? I think I should... probably go home."

"Huh? Why? You okay?" Hyojong asked. Hyunggu nodded. Hyojong's eyebrows stooped. He wasn't convinced. He pulled Hyunggu by the hand-- through the crowd, and through the front door. He pulled Hyunggu away from the crowd, and into the fresh air. He stopped suddenly, and turned around, and Hyunggu nearly bumped directly into his chest. Hyojong barely gave him a moment to recover before he steadied Hyunggu's shoulders, and asked, "Did he hurt you?"

" _What?_ " Hyunggu spluttered, but Hyojong ignored him, "--Because I may be-- a little drunk-- but I have a _lot_  of friends here, and we _will_  kick his ass. I don't _care_  if he's on the football team--"

"No, he didn't _hurt_  me. I just-- I think I should go home. I'm a little tired." Hyunggu said. Hyojong studied him for another moment, and Hyunggu felt oddly uncomfortable beneath his glare. He shrunk into himself a bit, and wondered, cautiously, "You okay, hyung?"

"Yes. I'm just making sure _you_  are." Hyojong said. He let his hands fall from Hyunggu's shoulders, and he straightened his back, suddenly confident that Hyunggu was, in fact, okay. His palm was out, though, "Phone, please. Hwitaek always takes mine because I drunk-text my exes and he never appreciates peeling me off of their front porch."

Hyunggu didn't even ask. He pulled out his phone, and unlocked it for Hyojong--even though it would recognize Hyojong's thumbprint, too (Hyunggu just didn't think he was fully capable of unlocking a phone, with his shaky hands). Hyojong called Hwitaek, and told him, "Hyung!... Hyunggu wants to go home.... Yes, I have him with me.... Because _I_ wanted to call you.... _You_  have my phone.... I don't want to go home.... Fine. _Fine!_.... Yes, I love you, too.... Yes, I know who I'm talking to.... Hwitaek-hyung.... Bye."

Hyojong handed Hyunggu his phone back, and told him, "I have to-- go get Shinwon, because Hwitaek wants to take him home. Stay here, okay? Hwitaek-hyung will be here in a minute or two."

So, Hyunggu was alone until Hwitaek pulled up next to the house. Hwitaek got out of the car immediately, and held out a hand to help Hyunggu to his feet. He wondered, "Why did Hyojong leave you all alone?" and Hyunggu shrugged, "He went to get Shinwon-hyung."

"Are you okay? Why did you have Hyojong call me?" Hwitaek asked. His hands went through Hyunggu's hair, "You're a mess, Hyunggu. What happened?"

"Nothing." Hyunggu muttered softly. Hwitaek had no time to ask more questions, because Hyojong returned with Shinwon -- and they were rowdy and loud, and Hyojong glued himself to Hwitaek right away, hooking his chin over Hwitaek's shoulder ad shouting his greeting directly into Hwitaek's ear. Hwitaek rolled his eyes, but didn't mind otherwise.

"Can I sit in the front? Please, please, can I sit in the front?" Hyojong asked. Hwitaek rolled his eyes, amused, but told him, "No. I want Hyunggu to sit in the front with me."

"Sit with me!" Shinwon said, tugging at Hyojong's sleeve. Hyojong attached himself to Shinwon next. Hyojong was something else when he was drunk; he was far more affectionate than usual, and more child-like. Shinwon was something else, too; but the two of them managed to clamber into the backseat together. Hyojong sat in the middle even though he didn't need to, because Hyunggu did, indeed, end up in the front seat, but Hyojong wanted to be close to Shinwon-- _always_  wanted to be close to _someone_ when he was drunk. There went a saying around their small group of friends, that Hyojong couldn't get drunk without taking someone home -- and, well, he was either going home with Hwitaek or Shinwon tonight. (It wouldn't be the first time.)

"You're going to have to tell me what happened tomorrow," Hwitaek said as he started driving away from Jinho's house. Hyunggu nodded silently. He didn't feel good. His head had started to hurt, and he had a sick feeling in his stomach. He still felt on the verge of tears, but he felt like he had no place to cry. He was tired of feeling unloved, he thought, but he looked at Hwitaek, and noticed how easy Hwitaek gave him his hand when Hyunggu's clingy fingers grabbed for it, and he felt okay. He felt like he would be better off going home with Hwitaek tonight. He wondered-- "Hyung?" and Hwitaek hummed, and Hyunggu asked, "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"You already got the front seat! Why can't _I_ have Hwitaek-hyung?" Hyojong whined. Shinwon laughed, and told him, "You can have _me!_ " and Hyojong was quiet again. Hwitaek laughed, and looked at Hyunggu, "Yes. You can stay with me tonight."

Hwitaek and Hyunggu both made sure Hyojong and Shinwon got up to Shinwon's apartment safely. They both fell into the couch as soon as they could, and Hwitaek and Hyunggu were quick to leave Hyojong's phone on the counter and leave, locking the door behind them just so the two didn't sleep with it unlocked. Hwitaek and Hyunggu laughed as they made their way back to Hwitaek's car, amazed at Hyojong's antics, and all their tolerance for him (especially Shinwon's tolerance for him; but he _was_  drunk, too; you're right, hyung, he is; how do they deal with each other?; imagine if they lived together; that would probably be easier on both of them).

Hyunggu threw up in Hwitaek's apartment. He made it to the bathroom, luckily, but his stomach churned as he stepped into Hwitaek's apartment, and he bolted. Hwitaek followed him-- didn't run, but made it to him in time to comfort him. Hwitaek didn't handle vomit well, so he didn't look, but he did manage to comfort his hands through Hyunggu's hair as Hyunggu emptied his stomach. He even managed to close his toilet's lid and flush it without looking. He helped Hyunggu's rinse his mouth, keeping a steady hand on his hip as he did. Hyunggu thanked him breathlessly.

"You want to talk tonight?" Hwitaek asked, rubbing Hyunggu's back. Hyunggu shook his head, and Hwitaek respected that. He gave Hyunggu a new toothbrush, and got him clothes for bed. He made popcorn while Hyunggu got dressed, and he let Hyunggu pick a movie while he took his turn to change into pajamas. He offered Hyunggu the nook beneath his arm, and the two of them watched Jurassic Park with subtitles. Hyunggu couldn't even read them-- couldn't keep up; but he didn't care. His mind was running wild, and his mind changed as he blurted, "I lost my virginity tonight, hyung."

" _Huh?_ " Hwitaek asked, looking at Hyunggu with wide eyes. He coughed around a kernel of popcorn, and moved the bowl from his lap as he looked at Hyunggu, and asked, "Who was it? Did he hurt you?"

"No, he didn't hurt me. It was Yuto--"

"The football player?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Hyunggu, what happened?" Hwitaek asked, grabbing another handful of popcorn and turning to face him fully on the couch. Hyunggu pulled his legs up, and laughed a little bit at the way Hwitaek looked--eating his popcorn. His eyes fell to Hwitaek's hand for a minute, and Hwitaek softly murmured "Sorry," as he put the popcorn back. Hyunggu didn't mind, but didn't tell Hwitaek, because he was already diving into his story-- about how Yuto flirted with him, and made Hyunggu feel special for a minute, and how Hyunggu got lost in that for a while, even though he _knew_  he shouldn't have; and he talked about how it kind of hurt, how Yuto was still so nice to him afterwards, and how he still took care of Hyunggu afterwards--except there was distance, and really nothing special about it (not to Yuto). He was crying by the end, because he sobbed about how he couldn't even get his own brother to love him, and Hwitaek took a moment, and gathered up all the information, and said, "Well, Hyunggu, Hongseok and Yuto aren't exactly the best people to go to for love."

"I know." Hyunggu muttered, "I didn't _want_  love but I _felt_  special and I wanted _that_  to last."

"I understand. I get-- come on, come here." Hwitaek said. He pulled Hyunggu in-- a hug at first, but he, soon enough, fully coddled Hyunggu against his chest. Hyunggu didn't cry much, and simply help onto Hwitaek as he recovered from his emotional break. Hwitaek checked on him after a moment, "You okay?" and Hyunggu answered truthfully, "Yes."

"You want to go to bed?"

"Yes."

Hwitaek took Hyunggu to bed-- knowing, fully, that he'd be more comfortable sleeping _with_  Hwitaek than he would sleeping alone.

 

 

 

 

 

"Hyunggu? Hyunggu. Wake up."

The previous night came back to Hyunggu before he even opened his eyes, because he knew, by the way he was woken, that he was at Hwitaek's. Hyunggu felt a rush of emotional-- and it was too early in the morning to feel all of that. It all went straight to his head in the form of a rough knock, and Hyunggu groaned, rubbing his eyes as he slowly forced himself to sit up. Hwitaek was standing next to the bed -- "Your brother's here."

Hyunggu nodded. Hwitaek left, and Hyunggu could hear him say "He's coming," as he made his way down the hall. Hyunggu rubbed his eyes as he was getting out of bed; he stretched his arms and his legs. He took his time, but he knew Hongseok would start to get angry if he didn't show soon; so he made his way down the hall, and turned the corner, and walked all the way to the front door -- because Hongseok refused to go into his friend's houses.

"Hi, hyung."

"Get your shoes on, we're going home." Hongseok said. Hyunggu nodded-- didn't protest, because it was better not to. He went to turn away, because his shoes were further in the house, but Hongseok caught his bicep all of a sudden, and pulled him all of a sudden. Hyunggu stumbled, and a whine fell out of his mouth; Hongseok's fingers went to Hyunggu's neck, and traced a spot. Hyunggu's breath hitched nervously; he had hickeys, didn't he?

"Why do you have hickeys?" Hongseok demanded. Hyunggu gulped, "I-- I--"

"Who did this?" Hongseok asked, his grip on Hyunggu tightening. Hyunggo explaied quickly, "I-- I got them at the party--"

"Did you have sex with someone?"

"Y-yes." Hyunggu stuttered. Hongseok let go of his arm, and Hyunggu straightened up. Hongseok looked angry; Hyunggu wasn't sure what else he expected. Hongseok told him, "Get your shoes," and he was much shorter, and much angrier, and Hyunggu did. He ran off to grab his shoes, and grab his phone, and hug Hwitaek goodbye quickly -- telling him he would return his clothes, and grab his own later, or tomorrow, or whenever. Hwitaek called after Hyunggu, "Call me later!" and Hyunggu called back, "I will, hyung!"

"We're walking." Hongseok said, pulling Hyunggu by the elbow. He didn't let go until the two were outside, at which point he shrugged off his jacket and put it on Hyunggu instead. Hyunggu wondered, "Why are you giving me your jacket--?" as Hongseok stopped, and turned Hyunggu to him, and zipped it up. He muttered, "Because your hickeys look awful--" and Hyunggu's shoulders fell with the weight of his words. He started walking, then, and Hyunggu stumbled to keep up.

"How did you know I was at Hwitaek-hyung's house?" Hyunggu wondered, tucking his hands into the pockets of Hongseok's coat. Hongseok didn't reply for a minute; it was short when he did, "He's your best friend."

"Why do you need me home?" Hyunggu asked. Hongseok glanced back at him for a moment, and sighed, "You didn't come home last night. I wanted to make sure you weren't doing anything stupid."

Hyunggu smiled, "Why, hyung? Were you worried?"

Hongseok glared at him again-- just for a moment. Hyunggu knew he cared. He always did; sometimes, though, he wished Hongseok would express it. Sometimes Hyunggu's doubt got in the way and he thought Hongseok might _really_  hate him. He knew he wasn't Hongseok's favorite person to be around, but until Hongseok found anyone else, Hyunggu was number one. (He didn't _always_  need to be number one, but he was a bit scared that, when Hongseok finally found friends of his own, he would cast Hyunggu aside -- _far_  aside. He might resent Hyunggu fully, because, with other people to fill his lonely gaps, he'd be able to.)

Hyunggu gasped as he tripped, and Hongseok's arms shot out to catch him. His expression was shocked for just a second, and then he was still, and he rolled his eyes, "Watch it. If you fall in my jacket, you're paying for a new one."

"Okay, hyung." Hyunggu said quietly-- and then he was stumbling to catch up with Hongseok again.

Their apartment was around the corner. Hongseok turned slightly, reached back to pull Hyunggu to him by the front of his jacket. Their apartment wasn't in the nicest part of town, and Hyunggu had been attacked in the hallway before-- luckily, just a few feet away from his own dorm, so Hongseok heard, and came to his rescue. Hyunggu still found himself a little breathless when he thought about it; and Hongseok no longer let Hyunggu walk around by himself.

Hongseok slowed his walk once they were in the apartments, letting Hyunggu walk in front of him. They went to the third floor-- took the stairs, because the elevators were in suspicious condition at best, and entered their apartment around the corner. Hongseok locked it, while Hyunggu ventured into the apartment and plopped down on the couch.

"Who did you fuck last night?"

Hyunggu kind of hated that Hongseok phrased it that way. He tucked his arms between his legs shyly, and told Hongseok, "It was a guy at the party."

"Does he go to your school?" Hongseok asked. He was in another room; but only for a moment, as he made his way back into the living room, and stood by the couch. Hyunggu kept his head down, "Yes. He's a football player."

"How old is he?"

"He's my age."

"Did you use a condom?"

Hyunggu thought about lying, but Hongseok saw right through his lies. He was quiet, as if that would help-- "No."

" _No?_ " Hongseok asked; and his exclamation was horribly loud, and Hyunggu flinched. Hongseok stalker closer-- "Hyunggu. Look at me-- you _didn't_  use _protection_  with this guy? You're joking, right? How _stupid_  can you be?"

"I-I'm sorry--"

"You're _going_  to be sorry if he has any damn diseases, Hyunggu!" Hongseok said. He growled angrily, whipping his phone from his pocket and stalking out of the room to make a call-- likely to a doctor. Hyunggu sat there with his eyes turned toward the ground, frustrated tears about his expression. He knew better. Hongseok was right; he _knew better_. His heart beat his head again, and he chose a chance at love over logic.

 

 

 

 

 

Hyunggu wasn't allowed to see his friends until after the visit to the doctor. He had to stay in and drink lots of tea; Hongseok would only let him eat soup, as well. Nothing solid, he said; and Hyunggu wondered why -- he kept just wondering _why_ , but Hongseok only told him _health, health-- it's for your health_. Hyunggu couldn't help but feel a little special, how Hongseok was worrying over him--except it felt a little degrading, the way Hongseok controlled him, and a bit condescending -- but Hyunggu would take what he could get.

Hyunggu didn't see or hear from any of his friends until Monday, because his phone was taken from him as well. Seungyeon jumped on him right away, asking how the party was and-- "Lie to me, though, because I'm still pissed I had to work and if you tell me it was fun I'm going to be upset."

"Um. Honestly, it wasn't that... fun." Hyunggu said. That was a lie. It was fun, but-- it wasn't worth it. He had to wait until Friday for his test results, which meant he was going to have to worry all week about whether or not he was positive for any STDs. (He already had two tests to worry about, and an essay coming up. Couldn't he just have a peaceful spring break this year?)

"That sounded too serious." Seungyeon noticed, and pulled Hyunggu to sit at the end of the table, away from the part of the group that Hyunggu didn't know very well. Hansol and Yugyeom would fill in their seats as soon as they bought their lunch; but, in the meantime, Seungyeon asked, "What's wrong? What's going on?"

"Yuto fucked me last night." Hyunggu said. Seungyeon's mouth fell open-- both at the news, and he way Hyunggu delivered it. Hyunggu was surprised at himself, too; but he'd been hanging around no one but Hongseok for two days--who could blame him?

"And he didn't, uh-- _we_ didn't use a condom." Hyunggu muttered. Seungyeon was silent, and Hyunggu wouldn't look at him. He knew. He knew there would be shock on his expression; and, yes, he _was_  ashamed of himself. He was _horribly_  ashamed of himself. He was scared, too. He knew better; he _knew_  better. He was an _adult_ ; he _knew better_.

"What are you going to do?"

"I got tested already." Hyunggu muttered, tapping his fingers, "Other than that...."

"Does Hongseok know?"

" _Hongseok_  was the reason I didn't talk to anyone after the party." Hyunggu said. He looked up, finally, and told Seungyeon, "Hongseok made the appointment."

"It's okay. You'll be okay." Seungyeon said gently. He moved around the table-- sat next to Hyunggu, and slung an arm over his shoulder, "I know this is scary, but-- don't worry too much, okay?"

"Okay."

"Want to go get lunch?"

"No. Hongseok-hyung told me not to eat too much."

"You're going to listen to him?"

Hyunggu looked at Seungyeon, and he smiled, "Maybe I won't this time."

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday rolled around, and Hyunggu's stress levels were through the roof. He'd tanked his economic exam and he had a make-up essay due by midnight, if he wanted any extra credit for the class. He got his test results tomorrow, and Hongseok wasn't picking up his phone. Hyunggu was a nervous wreck by the time he got to his apartment door, jumping and jolting at every creak his apartment complex made as he scampered to his room. He tried the knob, and almost cried when he found it unlocked. He wished and hoped that Hongseok was home, and okay, because the door was unlocked -- and he almost cried when he did see Hongseok, only it wasn't relief that he found.

Hongseok was making out with someone on the couch-- and when that someone looked up, Hyunggu recognized him. He dropped his book and his failed exam, a gasp falling from his lips. Yuto showed recognition, too, while Hongseok looked up, and looked at the time with a shocked expression. He shoved Yuto off of him, and stood up, "Hyunggu, what are you doing here? Why didn't you call me?"

"I-I-- I tried." Hyunggu said, handing Hongseok his phone for proof. Hongseok went through it, and tossed it back onto the couch, "You should have stayed at school until I came to get you. What's wrong with you?"

"I-I--" Hyunggu looked at Yuto again. Yuto glanced between Hongseok and Hyunggu. Hongseok wasn't paying any attention, busy reprimanding Hyunggu-- "Why didn't you have someone else bring you home? You know how stupid it is to go walking around here by yourself. Hey. Look at me. What are you--" Hongseok looked back at Yuto-- "What's wrong with you, huh?"

"He--" Hyunggu started, lifting a hand to point at Yuto. Hongseok pushed his hand down, "Don't be rude."

"I should go." Yuto said, standing. He didn't say anything else before he grabbed his coat, and his phone, and walked out, brushing Hyunggu's shoulder as he walked by. Hyunggu couldn't breathe for a second, his hands shaking. Hongseok tapped his shoulder roughly, "Hyunggu. I'm talking to you-- what's wrong with you?"

"That's--" Hyunggu said, pointing after Yuto. He turned back to Hongseok, and Hongseok asked, "What?"

"Why was he here?"

"He's my boyfriend, Hyunggu-- is there a problem?" Hongseok asked. Hyunggu wanted to cry. _Boyfriend_. Yuto was Hongseok's _boyfriend_. Hyunggu spluttered at the idea, and wondered, "How-- how long?" and Hongseok was starting to get impatient, "About a year, Hyunggu. What's your problem? Why aren't you answering any of my questions?"

"He--" Hyunggu couldn't even speak. Hongseok asked, "What-- _what?_  What is it?" so impatient, with his hands on Hyunggu's shoulders for a moment. Hyunggu really wanted to cry-- "That's Yuto. Adachi Yuto-- he's the one I-I slept with at-- at the party."

Hongseok was silent for a long, long moment. Hyunggu was nervous; and he had a reason to be. After a long minute of silence, Hongseok's arm reeled back, and his fist sent Hyunggu hurdling towards the floor with an explosion of pain about his right cheek.

"You _fucked_  my boyfriend?" Hongseok screamed, and Hyunggu started to cry. He scrambled back to his feet, backing away from Hongseok as he seethed. Hyunggu didn't have any time to think, his fear sending him into flight. He didn't grab anything as he left-- not his failed exam, not his book, not his phone-- not even his bag. He burst from the apartment, and ran -- scared at the way the apartment creaked, scared that Hongseok may follow him. He went to the first place he could think; Hwitaek was close, after all.

"Hyung," Hyunggu cried as he knocked on Hwitaek's door. Hwitaek was there in just a few seconds, catching Hyunggu as he fell forward -- looking for comfort against Hwitaek's chest. Hwitaek was shocked, but he didn't hesitate to pull Hyunggu inside, immediately asking what was wrong, why he was crying. It took close to an hour to get the full story out of Hyunggu, but he was livid when it finally came.

"He seriously _hit you?_ " Hwitaek asked, tilting Hyunggu's face. Hyunggu cried, and nodded. Hwitaek breathed heavy-- slow, and cradled Hyunggu's hurt cheek. He had a sad look about his eyes, and his voice was tender, "I _never_  thought he'd get violent with you...."

Hyunggu didn't say anything. Hwitaek pet his hair gently, and began to slowly adjust his position, "Here, honey, why don't you sleep? Give your emotions some time to cool down. I'll wake you up later, so we can have something for dinner, okay?"

Hyunggu already felt lulled, and easily collapsed against Hwitaek. His exhaustion lulled him further, and he slept. He slept long enough that Hwitaek was gone when he woke-- replaced by a thin blanket and a pillow. Hyunggu was overheating, with the weight of his hoodie. It was too big for him-- was probably Hongseok's, if Hyunggu thought about it. It was large and red and Hyunggu didn't own anything red.

"Yes, he's at my place...." Hwitaek said. Hyunggu frowned, and looked around-- and saw Hwitaek's shadow peeking out from the kitchen. Hyunggu sat up, and started up, silently padding over to the kitchen as he listened-- "He's not coming home tonight, Hongseok. I'm not sure he'll want to go home at all. He was _hysterical_  when he came to me.... Of course I'm going to take care of him. Don't I always? ....Don't start a fight with me, Hongseok-- you know how I compare to you. No, Hongseok, it's now how I _think_ \-- it's factual. Have I ever hit him, huh?"

Hyunggu lost his breath for a minute. It was rare to hear Hwitaek so angry-- to the point of yelling, even over the phone. Hyunggu's fingers found anchor against the wall, because he felt himself grow weak at the fight between his brother and his best friend-- the fight over him, no less.

"I know you care about him, Hongseok. I know you don't _abuse_  him, but you don't treat him well, either. I know you don't.... Hongseok, if you keep saying shit like that you're never going to improve as a brother.... Look, Hongseok, Hyunggu's staying with me tonight, and however damn long he wants to. Right now, until Hyunggu's alright again, you're not welcome over here, and I'll do anything to keep him from seeing you until _he's_  okay with it."

Hongseok heard Hwitaek's phone hit the counter-- not rough, but it wasn't a casual placement of his phone, either. Hwitaek sighed heavily, and Hyunggu peeked around the corner. Hwitaek was standing in front of the counter with both of his hands against it, his head stooped at he just-- _breathed_. Hyunggu stepped into the kitchen, gently asking, "Hyung?"

Hwitaek looked up, and smiled. He held out his arms, "Hi, sweetheart."

"Are you okay?" Hyunggu asked as he was beckoned by Hwitaek. He fell into Hwitaek's arms, and Hwitaek nodded against his shoulder, "I'm fine, baby-- how are you? Did you rest well? Feel better?"

Hyunggu nodded. He made himself even more comfortable against Hwitaek; he closed his eyes, and wondered, "Hongseok called you?"

"He wanted to make sure you were with someone. I told him you were with me-- but he won't come, I promise." Hwitaek said, rocking Hyunggu, "You can stay with me for as long as you want, okay? I can go by and get your school things and some clothes, if you'd like. Or I can send Hyojong and Shinwon to get them. Do you want to go to school tomorrow?"

"I should." Hyunggu said. He stepped away from Hwitaek, remembering his essay, "And I need to write an essay tonight."

"I can help you out with that." Hwitaek said. He picked up his phone, "How about I send Hyojong and Shinwon over to get your things, and I can help you with your essay? Then, the four of us can have dinner. We can even go get something sweet for dessert-- sound good?"

Hyunggu nodded, the color pink coming to his cheeks as he imagined a sweet night in with three of his friends. He thought that might be what he needed, right now.

 

 

 

 

Hyunggu didn't _want_  to go to school. He didn't _want_  to finish his essay; and he hadn't _wanted_  to get hit by his brother -- but sometimes, things happen, and Hyunggu dragged himself to school in the morning. (He was lucky enough to have accidentally woken Hwitaek; and Hwitaek drove him to school, which made starting the day a little easier. Hwitaek also drove him to get some coffee, and breakfast, and Hyunggu couldn't help but think of what Hwitaek said to Hongseok the night before, about him being a bad brother to Hyunggu.)

Hyunggu floated through his day. He wasn't all there; and he knew he wouldn't be. He could barely finish his essay the night before, and sleep hadn't helped. (Breakfast hadn't helped, either.) He barely talked to his friends; he barely made it through the day. His mind was full of Hongseok-- Hongseok, and how he'd been a bad brother all along, but Hyunggu loved him, and believed in him, and maybe it was stupid for him to have that hope.

Was this his fault, though?

It all started at the party. All of this-- the STD scare, the stress of Hongseok's anger; it all started with that stupid party, and Hyunggu's stupid temptations. Hyunggu always promised himself he wouldn't regret his first time having sex-- not the way Hongseok did. Now, though? He couldn't help but regret it. If he just _hadn't_  had sex with Yuto, he wouldn't be so scared. He _still_  didn't know his results; it was just barely the end of his school day, and he wasn't going home tonight. He was going to stay with Hwitaek--maybe for the rest of the week, maybe until the end of spring break, maybe forever. It depended on his ability to sort out his emotions, and find room to forgive Hongseok -- and how quickly he could do that.

Hongseok wouldn't be mad at him if he just _hadn't_  fucked Adachi Yuto.

Adachi Yuto, the hottest guy in school. Adachi Yuto, who made him feel loved for just a little while. Adachi Yuto-- who suddenly had him by the arm, and was reeling him around, and was a little too close, with a grip that was a little too tight. Hyunggu gasped at the sight of him, but Yuto didn't mind the shock, or the fear, or the struggle to get away, because he held onto Hyunggu, and asked him, "Did you tell your brother about us?"

"I--" Hyunggu suppressed his fear. He was tired of this. He'd been stressed for too long-- so he let Yuto have his grip, and he told Yuto, firmly, "Yes, I did. He deserved to know."

Yuto was silent for a while. Hyunggu had a nasty bruise around his eye, and he hoped, if Yuto hit him, he would at least hit his other side.

But, Yuto didn't hit him. Rather, he released his grip-- but found a new one on Hyunggu's face. Yuto smashed their lips together-- way too rough, and way too sudden, and he trapped Hyunggu between himself and a tree just outside the gates of the school. Hyunggu made a shocked, strangled noise, and struggled against Yuto for a moment. Yuto let him go, and Hyunggu shoved him away, "What are you doing?"

"He broke up with me," Yuto laughed, tilting his chin up and showing Hyunggu an ugly bruise he had on his jaw. Hyunggu's lips fall apart in shock-- had Hongseok done that? Yuto's laugh and his gesture to Hyunggu's face confirmed, "He did it to you too, huh?"

"He--" Hyunggu meant to say _he didn't mean to_ , but Hyunggu was sure he _had_  meant to. He was so shocked -- why was Hongseok so violent? He knew what he and Yuto had done was wrong, but why would he lash out so badly? _Twice?_

"Your brother's kind of an asshole." Yuto laughed, licking his lips once. Hyunggu looked at them for a moment, and remember how Yuto kissed him just now, and kissed him a week ago-- and he coughed, and startled, "You-- you-- so are you! You cheated on him!"

Yuto shrugged, "He never made me happy. You were better, anyway."

"You're--" Hyunggu shook his head, crossing his arms over his middle, "You're unbelievable."

"Come on, you've lived with him for years. He's your _brother_ \-- you've got to know that he's not a good person." Yuto said. Hyunggu couldn't say he didn't know that, but he knew his brother had potential. He didn't have the energy to explain this to Yuto, so he stay silent, looking away, giving him the cold shoulder. Yuto stay staring at the bruised side of his face for a few moments-- until he reached out to brush his fingers across the bruise, "Look what he did to you."

"Don't touch me." Hyunggu said shortly, knocking Yuto's hand away. Yuto scoffed, "Really? Come on, your brother _hit you_. I gave you a good night-- why are you being cold to me?"

"Leave me alone." Hyunggu muttered. He turned to walk away, but Yuto grabbed for him again, "Hey. Come on--"

"What do you _want?_ " Hyunggu asked. He was losing all of his patience; and he hated to do this-- he _hated_  to be short with anyone, but he couldn't do this. He couldn't handle all of this stress and everyone else's emotions. Not now. He pulled his wrist out of Yuto's grip, but Yuto grabbed for him again, keeping him there. Hyunggu kind of wanted to cry, kind of wanted to run away. He tugged his wrist, and whined, "Please _leave me alone_."

"Hey--!"

Hyunggu wanted to scream. Hongseok was stalking towards the two; he physically separated Hyunggu and Yuto, and pushed Hyunggu behind him. Hyunggu wanted to call Hwitaek-- wanted to remove himself from the situation, but he doubted he could escape without one of the two noticing, and pulling him back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Hongseok-hyung, stop." Hyunggu found enough courage to say. Hongseok was getting into Yuto's face, and Yuto wasn't backing down. Hyunggu found enough bravery to put himself between the two, gently pushing on Hongseok's chest, "Stop. Hyung, I'll come home with you if you _stop_ \--"

"This is ridiculous, you know." Yuto said, gesturing between the two, "What--"

"Stop. You stop, too, just-- _stop_." Hyunggu said. He wrapped his arms around Hongseok, shrugging his shoulders into his brother, holding him tight, "Please stop this. Please. Please, please, _please_."

Hongseok and Yuto were both quiet for a minute. Hyunggu braced himself for something-- some violent move or word, but Hongseok was gentle as he gripped Hyunggu's arms, and began to pull him, "Fine. Fine, let's go-- let's go home."

Yuto called something after them, but Hongseok tucked an arm around Hyunggu and walked faster. For the first time, Hongseok didn't walk ahead of Hyunggu. He still made Hyunggu walk in front of him when they got to their apartment complex, and still made him go inside first, but he didn't leave Hyunggu alone, either, the moment they were inside. He spun Hyunggu toward him and hugged him-- a full, tight hug, and he started crying.

"H-hyung?"

"I'm sorry." Hongseok said. He was shaking, and his voice was thick with emotion. Hyunggu was shocked. He held Hongseok quickly, with a tight grip so Hongseok knew he was there, and the two of them were together. Hongseok didn't cry a lot, and there were no sobs to accompany his tears, but he was unsteady enough that his shoulders shook, and Hyunggu could _feel_  his emotion.

Hyunggu's phone rang, sometime in the silence. Hyunggu reached for it, and Hongseok stepped away. He covered his face immediately, and he made his way into the other room. Hyunggu would follow him, and ignore the call, except he saw it was Hwitaek and he had to answer--didn't want to worry the man.

"Where are you?" Hwitaek was worried. Hyunggu started after Hongseok for a moment-- Hongseok, who had disappeared back into his bedroom. He told Hwitaek, after a moment of blankness, "I-- I went home with Hongseok-hyung."

"What? Why? Are you okay-- do you need me to come get you?" Hwitaek was urgent. Hyunggu shook his head, and realized, and spoke, "No-- no, I'm okay, hyung, don't worry."

"Are you sure? You know you have a place with me, Hyunggu." Hwitaek said. Hyunggu smiled briefly, "Yes, I know, hyung. Thank you. I-I have to go, but I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Okay. Hey. I want you to come over tomorrow, alright?" Hwitaek asked, and Hyunggu played along, "Yeah-- yeah, of course. Bye, hyung."

Hyunggu hung up before Hwitaek could say goodbye, and he ventured back to Hongseok's bedroom. Hyunggu made to open it, but it was locked. He knocked softly, "Hongseok-hyung? Hyung? Can I come in? ....Please, hyung, I want to talk to you.... Yuto scared me today."

After his last comment, it only took a few seconds for Hongseok to open the door. He had tear tracks on his cheeks, but no more falling; and he asked, before Hyunggu could say anything, "What did he do?"

"Nothing, I just-- I want to talk to you." Hyunggu said. Hongseok looked at him for a blank moment, stepped back into his room, and shut the door. Hyunggu tried to stop him, but only ended up with his chest and his palms against the door, and he complained, "Hyung! Hyung, come on, let me in.... You can't cry on me and not talk to me, that's not fair.... Hyung, I'm not mad at you. I want to talk to you. Really.... Can I at least sleep in your room tonight, please? Please?"

"I'm not sleeping in the same bed with you." Hongseok muttered. He was right next to the door; but his voice was closer to the ground. Hyunggu looked down-- like he'd be able to see Hongseok. He crouched, and fell into a sitting position in front of the door, his legs crossed. He was smiling, now; his hands overlapped his ankles, and he told Hongseok, "That's okay, hyung. If I can see you, I'll sleep on the floor."

Hongseok was quiet for a minute. His voice was more distant the next time he spoke, "The door's unlocked."

Hyunggu stood, and entered the room. Hongseok was sitting on his bed, but he wouldn't look at Hyunggu. Hyunggu started forward, but Hongseok stopped him with a comment, "Close the door."

Hyunggu didn't ask. He turned back, closed the door, and made his way forward again. He climbed onto Hongseok's bed, and sat in front of him, waiting. He knew he shouldn't wait, because Hongseok wouldn't give him anything. If he wanted to talk, he'd have to initiate it; and even then, Hyunggu didn't think he would talk. He said _something_ , with a little bit of a smile-- "You look like a puppy dog," and it wasn't what Hyunggu wanted, but he was glad for it anyway.

"Are you okay?" Hyunggu asked. Hongseok looked at him, and smiled gently, "Are _you?_ "

Hyunggu nodded slowly-- unsure of himself at first, but sure once he started to nod. He told Hongseok, "I've just had a stressful week."

"I bet." Hongseok muttered. He looked at Hyunggu briefly, and then he looked away-- "Your results came back, by the way. You're fine."

"Really?" Hyunggu's relief came out in a breathless breath, his shoulders falling with the pressure gone. Hongseok nodded, "Yes. And you're _lucky_ , you know that? It was still _so_ stupid to go and fuck someone with _no_  protection-- if you ever do that again--"

Hongseok stopped, and looked away, and shook his head, "Hwitaek gave me a piece of his mind. Made me realize I'm a shit brother.... Hell, I _knew_  I was a shit brother, but... I didn't know how else to protect you. You never listened to mom and dad when they were nice. I couldn't let you be a troublemaker.

"And then you go and fuck my boyfriend without a condom--"

Hyunggu was nervous at the words, but Hongseok laughed through them. As Hongseok looked up, his expression fell--but it didn't fall to anger. Rather, it fell victim to guilt--as he reached out, and touched Hyunggu's face, and sighed, "I'm sorry. I always forget that I-- _I'm_  the one with problems, not you."

Hyunggu wondered how bad Hwitaek had laid his anger on if Hongseok was suddenly like this. Hyunggu always knew it was in him, though. He knew Hongseok was always there; but there had always been something blocking him.

Hongseok was a damaged person.

"Everyone has problems, hyung." Hyunggu said. Hongseok scoffed, "All of yours were caused by me."

"That's not true." Hyunggu muttered.

"It is," Hongseok said with a heavy sigh. He stood from his bed with a sad smile on his face, stretching his back and avoiding Hyunggu's eyes as he told him, "It's okay, I know it's true. I'll forgive myself one day.... Let's go to sleep, okay?"

"I have to call Hwitaek-hyung." Hyunggu said.

"Call him. I'll set up a bed on the floor." Hongseok said. Hyunggu called Hwitaek in the hallway, with his legs crossed and his back against the wall. He talked about going over tomorrow night, and wondered quietly what he said to Hongseok because he was being so nice, and crying. Hwitaek didn't reveal anything he'd said, but told Hyunggu that he'd get the love he deserved from his brother.

Hongseok was in a bundle on the floor when Hyunggu walked back into the room. He frowned, and pocketed his phone, and wondered, "What are you doing, hyung?"

Hongseok didn't move an inch, "Sleeping."

"On the floor?"

"I told you we're not sleeping in the same bed."

"But it's _your_  bed," Hyunggu laughed. Hongseok finally moved a bit-- just to peek at Hyunggu. Then, he lay back down, "I don't care. Go to sleep."

"I can't sleep in your bed, hyung."

"Just lay down, Hyunggu." Hongseok muttered. Hyunggu climbed into Hongseok's bed, and put his phone on Hongseok's pillow. He curled up under Hongseok's blanket, and things were quiet for a while. Hyunggu curled the blanket against his palm, and silently peeked over the edge of the bed. Hongseok's eyes were closed. Hyunggu didn't think he was sleeping, though; and he told Hongseok, quietly, "I love you, hyung."

Hongseok didn't reply until Hyunggu had rolled over, and closed his eyes to sleep; and he wasn't loud, either, but Hyunggu caught enough to know that Hongseok had told him, "I love you, too."


End file.
